A Narrow View
by TouteSeule
Summary: Insane Bella Swan murdered her parents three years ago... Or did she? She always thought so, but when Dr. Edward Cullen comes to work at the Volturi Retreat everything will change.
1. Chapter 1

A Narrow View

_An Insane Bella has murdered her parents. Or has she? Doctor Edward Cullen will find out. _

Chapter 1: Walls

I just stare at the white wall. That's not quite right though. They aren't white. I think they are supposed to be, but they aren't. I've seen these walls in every light and they never look white. They have looked yellowed and dully grayed. I've seen them tinted sickly green and dirty brown, but never once a pure white. I guess when all you do is sit in one room all day you begin to think about the important things, like walls. If people weren't insane when they came in here, they certainly would become insane. As if the color of the walls matters. Still, it bothered me. Was I the only one who saw they were not really white, like they pretended? Apparently, I was.

There was a knock and I stiffened. My eyes flew to the narrow window. The sky was vibrantly colored, opalescent as it turned to night. Even bits of green peeked between the layers of rosy pink and brilliant orange. The sun shrank away from the world as if weary from the day. I shrank away, too. Twilight was not an easy time. The decent of the night on to the sky foreshadowed my oncoming terror. The night was always bad.

The door opened and there stood Dr. Gray, blond hair and gray eyes wild with anticipation, a syringe waiting in his hand. I hated needles, but I could hardly worry about it. His eyes raked over me in my bed and I realized, far too late, that I made it easier for him by being in bed. I didn't have time to stand up though before he was forcing me into a lying down position and pulling thick black straps around my body. I struggled, terrified as I felt the pinch of the needle being pushed in my arm. He was pressing down on the plunger. He stared right into my brown eyes as he did it with a cold look. As soon as he had put all the vile liquid in my arm he was pawing at my gown. I felt myself slipping away as my vision blurred. I looked away and watched out the window as the sun abandoned me. Then everything turned black and I couldn't fathom that I would see it again tomorrow.

I woke up feeling slightly sick. I could practically feel his hand as if they were still on me. The belts had been released and I was dressed again. But I knew. The window curtain was closed, but I pulled it back to see the sun in the strips not covered by iron bars. I could almost feel the warmth.

There was a knock, but it didn't worry me with the sun lighting up the sky. The door opened. "Bella? Alice?" the voice asked softly. It was Angela, of course. She was the best nurse here. She liked to wake us up.

"Good morning, Angela," I smiled.

"It's nice out. Do you want to go out to the courtyard and work in your garden?" She asked. Her voice was still soft and soothing. I nodded and she looked to Alice who was awake, too. "Are you coming, too?" Alice just smiles and leaps out of bed. Angela leaves us to get dressed. A few minutes later she returns to take us outside.

She leads me and Alice through the halls and outside. I immediately begin tending to my garden. Alice sits on the bench watching me. She's a good friend. Slowly more and more people file out to the court yard. They all contrasted sharply with the bright day and my lovely garden. They were weary looking and too thin for their clothing. They looked terribly sick. But I suppose they should look sick. They were sick. We all were. I froze for a moment as the guilt wraps around me, strangling me, suppressing any happiness. It threatened to drown me here in the warm air. Angela broke off this train of thought by touching my shoulder. One look in my eyes told her what I was thinking.

"You're better now, Bella, so much better. I know you could never do that again. You are a good person," She promised. I willed myself to believe her, but I couldn't. I forced out a little smile and looked back to the garden. I knew I hadn't fooled her, but she knew there was nothing to say to help and sat with Alice again.

I worked until my arms were tired and my knees were aching. This was the only atonement I was allowed. I felt better knowing I had created some life even if I had destroyed a much more important life. Two important lives, in fact, had been ruined by me.

I was more hurt than surprised as I watched a sneaker descend onto a pretty yellow flower, crushing it. It was Nurse Greco. I swallowed so I could breathe again. She was blond with pale skin. Her face was to pretty as she gazed down at me with those sky blue eyes. I winced. Her face was positively cherubic.

"Isabella, come with me," she said. Angela watched with tight brown eyes. Everyone else stared. It would have made me blush to be looked at by so many people, but I was too preoccupied with Nurse Greco. I followed her without complaint. I was always good for Nurse Greco, obedient.

It was an awful walk to room 312, Dr. Greco's office. The door closes and it's not dark like in the movies. It's lit with those awful florescent lights that flicker just a little. I sat still while they pull the straps tight. Dr. Greco is quite handsome, too, and I like to distract myself by watching his features. He has dark brown hair, which Nurse Greco does not, but pale skin, like his twin sister. Then I panic, I have no control as they pull the last belts into place and I'm barely aware of the other preparations as I struggle futilely against the bindings I allowed them to place on me. It's pointless. Then there's just the waiting. Then the shocks rock through me and I know I'm screaming and trying to thrash. And it goes on forever. I sit there shaking and feel the sweat as wisps of my hair get stuck to my face. I groan when it ends. My hands and knees shake, and I can't seem to control them anymore. My heart drums frantically in my ear. Nurse Greco escorts me away. In my room again I fall asleep. I feel too weak to even turn my head. Angela comes back. She leaves food, but doesn't speak. I don't know what either of us could say. I think about telling her that no one would do this to a good person, but I don't. She knows.

I eat a little. Then later more food was brought and I eat some of that, too. I pull from my little wall shelf the one book I'm allowed to read, a little book of poetry. Next to it is the chipped and worn music box and a little perfume bottle left to me by my mother. The book is supposed to be harmless. It's not supposed to excite me, but it does. I can't sleep after reading a particularly rousing verse.

Today Nurse Heidi gives me my shot. She's blonde and has dark eyes. She's beautiful, but cold and severe. She dislikes me. She says Dr. Gray went home early. I sigh with relief. No visits tonight. I feel better, even as I pass out. Still out of control, but it's nice to know tonight I'll be alone, all alone. It's silly that I should be pleased about that.

Today is a Tuesday, which means no Nurse Greco or Dr. Greco. It doesn't mean I'm safe from Dr. Gray, but I have a good feeling about today. Alice is happy, too. She sits beside me and basks in the afternoon sunlight. I pluck a dandelion from my garden and hand it to her. It's covered in tiny puffs of wishes. She smiles at this, too. She looks down and suddenly the smile freezes in place. She stares for a moment then looks up smiling brighter.

"Today is going to be a good day. We're going to meet someone important," she tells me. I ignore this and attend to my flowers more. "It's a man. He… he's meant to speak with me alone, but you'll be important to him. You are going to be close," she continues. I finally look at her. Close to a man? There aren't any male patients in this ward and no doctor would care about a patient. Dr. Gray does what he does, because it serves him. We are not close. Who could be close with me? I haven't been close to a man since Jacob Black.

"Ms. Brandon?" a velvet voice enquires. Alice looks up. I do, too. No one calls Alice "Ms. Brandon." She grins at me and gets up to meet him.

I see him then. He's a doctor I can see, because he is wearing a bright white coat. But he's more handsome than any of the other doctors, even more than Dr. Cullen, who runs this place with the three, Dr. Riccis. He's tall and has a very strange hair color. It's an odd combination of red, brown and gold, like bronze. He smiles approvingly at the calm, confident way she approaches. It's a nice smile.

"Hello Dr. Cullen," she greets him. Dr. Cullen? Is he related to Dr. Carlisle Cullen? They don't look anything alike, but there's something about him that reminds me of Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

"Hello… Would you like to come with me for a little get to know each other secession?" he asks. He seems a little thrown that she knows him, but he remains perfectly polite.

"Absolutely!" she agrees. Sometimes I wonder if Alice is delusional, or if she is… seeing the future. Then I shutter at the reaction my doctors would have to saying that. She follows him inside with the little dandelion and I work until dinner. Alice doesn't return until then either. The new Dr. Cullen walks over to me as I eat.

"Ms. Swan?" he asks. I look into those bright green eyes and melt.

"Yes, Dr. Cullen?" I answer. I think that maybe I'm going to be his patient, too. I begin to hope violently that this is the case.

"Well, Alice said the two of you are very close and I was hoping I could ask you some questions about her. Is that alright?" he asks. I'm not sure how to answer only because I can't remember the last time someone asked me for permission to do anything with me. I simply nod and he smiles, seeming satisfied. I think for the millionth time that he's awfully good looking.

Alice wakes me up this morning. She leans over me with those wild and bright blue eyes and her black hair sticking out in all directions. She's smiling. That's what I like about Alice. Even in a place like this she sees a bright future.

And it begins again, just the same the next day. And for every day after. It makes me want to laugh sometimes, but mostly I want to cry.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Facade

I pull into a space designated "DR. E. CULLEN." I step out of then car and find myself face to face with the façade of a building. It's long and stout. A riot of flowers stands stilly in the front yard. The colors are outrageous and garish on this overcast day. The architecture appears to be Grecian influence. The towering Corinthian pillars, stretching so much taller than any man, like immutable giants. I can't deicide if they protect or imprison. Still, I proceed.

The manila file tossed haphazardly on my desk seems too innocent. Inside is the simple words meant to explain my patient. I know that I should read them, but I feel that's cruel. Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance, a third, a fourth? Isn't it my job to administer chance after chance, until the patient stops seeking them? And even then shouldn't I entreat them to try once more? So I ignore it. I only glance at the name. Once I've settled in I decide I ought to visit my new patient. I ask where I may find Ms. Alice Brandon and a kind nurse, who introduced herself as Nurse Victoria Gray. She has the most bright and wild hair. It's fiery red. She's quite pretty, too. I follow her outside to the courtyard. Actually, most of the doctors here seem quite good looking. Strange.

Alice wasn't what I expected. She was very pretty and seemed quite content to sit in the sun all day. She was hardly what I expected of a highly dangerous patient. She seemed weak and small. She had very spiky black hair and lively blue eyes. I liked her immediately. I considered that she might have a multiple personality disorder, but I decided it hardly mattered. If there was an Alice in there like this then nothing mattered more than making her embrace this side. I invited her back to my office and she seemed perfectly relaxed as we spoke. She had visions of the future and honestly considered them reality. After she had returned to her room I decided to read the file Dr. Gray had written about her. It read:

_Patient – Mary Alice Brandon_

_Primary Caregiver – Dr. James Gray_

_Ms. Mary Alice Brandon appears to have delusions of seeing the future. She exhibits a dangerous imagination and will take any action to "change the future." Concerns arose when she at age fifteen attacked a man the street claiming him to be a future murderer. Dr. Laurent Martintestified that she passed him in the street as he was on his way to see a patient. He saw her freeze and look quite distant. Then she turned on him and attacked him. He received no serious injury, but had she been armed the repercussions could have been serious. She has resided at Volturi Retreat since the incident and has stayed with us for 4 years with no obvious improvement. _

I was surprised. Alice seemed to be sure of her visions, but he didn't think of her as the violent type. He decided he needed someone who knew her better than doctors or nurses. He flipped through the pages searching; there was usually a log kept of visitors, maybe with a phone number or an address. The page simply said:

_No visitors _

I continued to look for someone to speak to. Finally I found a page that might be useful. It said:

_Current Roommate: Isabella Swan _

If Alice was close to her roommate and her roommate was sane enough to be helpful then maybe he could learn more about his newest patient. I sought Isabella Swan out during dinner.

She was the young girl in the courtyard with Alice this afternoon. It made me hopeful. She was pretty and her eyes were not wild. No, they were warm and chocolaty, very inviting over all, except… except there was an expression that bothered me in them. She didn't look at me with an expression I understood, which I'll admit was rarity. I was such a good doctor, because I always understood. This time I didn't. It was unsettling, but not entirely unpleasant. There was a real mystery to solve in this girl. I shook that thought away. She isn't my riddle to solve. I'm not her doctor. Her skin looked soft and pale and her face seemed honest and delicate, not at all insane, though there was certainly something wrong with her to be placed in the dangerous ward. She was without doubt the prettiest girl I've ever seen. I tried to ignore that as I spoke with her. I made plans to see her the very next day. She seemed perfectly… well, just perfect really. Again I shoved those thoughts away. No one associated with patients and it was highly unlikely that she would be released soon.

The spindly hands seemed to move too fast. Every time I opened my eyes they had made another circuit and sleep still evaded me. If I was being honest, I knew the reason I couldn't sleep. Bella's eyes, though beautiful and warm held something unknown. It bothered me. Usually, I met a person and got a feeling. When I looked in her eyes, I just knew that she was telling me something with those eyes, but what? I could see the emotions and thoughts waiting to be read, but I couldn't comprehend it. It was written in a totally foreign language to me. I rolled over.

There was something else, too. It was not in focus. I had an indistinct feeling that I was being tricked. Not by Bella, but by the whole place. The Volturi Retreat was off. I met the people and got my usually feel for them, but they seemed strange. Why did Nurse Jane Greco feel sadistic and cruel? Why did Dr. Alec Greco seem just as vindictive? Why should Victoria Gray seem obsessive and unfeeling, especially toward her patients? It made no sense. Why did Alice the insane and violent patient seem just lonely and helpless? Why did Isabella Swan, the murderer of her own parents seem, if anything to do with pain and suffering, a victim? What was it about the Volturi retreat that seemed a polar opposite of what it should be?

The only people I'd met today that seemed kind and sane, who were also not supposed to be insane, were Dr. Carmen Henderson and Dr. Lewis Gerandy, except that wasn't the only thing I saw in them. They were as deceptive as the others, but in a nervous uncomfortable way. They were honest people who couldn't speak the truth, and hated that fact. I knew I was missing something, something big. Whatever it was, that I couldn't see, continued to steal my remaining hours. I hoped to riddle it out today. I left bed feeling more tired and with a worse headache than I'd had. The good new was that I could speak with Bella today and maybe discover something new. Maybe I could help Alice in someway. I had a few other patients, but none of them were as serious as Alice. I saw them each five days a week. I made it to work and attempted to distract myself with my first patient. Her name was Bree Tanner. She was a pretty girl, too though her brown hair didn't frame her face as beautifully as Bella's and her brown eyes, though nice, were terribly easy to read and not the chocolate brown of Bella's. I tried to stop comparing. Bella was not the standard of beauty, and even if she were (which I was being to feel she should be) she certainly shouldn't be looked at by me in anyway other than an analyzing way. In fact, she isn't my patient even, so I shouldn't look at her as anything other than a way to learn about Alice.

Bree was waiting for me to sort my things, and my mind for that matter, out. She smiled tentatively at me, but it wasn't happy. Bree had a social phobia. It was clear from the start that I would have to do most of the talking; she was very afraid. I managed to coax her into talking a little, but of course I had a meeting with Bella and couldn't stay with her any longer. She left, offering me one more smile of a more genuine nature. She was sweet; I hoped I could help her.

I puttered around impatiently as I waited to see Bella. When she finally arrived she was covered in dirt. She took in her own appearance at the door and paused. She didn't seem to see me peering at her through the wide open door. I watched her brush and clap her hands together. Then she reached to the edge of her skirt and tried to gently sweep away the brown. It seemed ingrained and she gave up with a small sigh. Nurse Angela had long since abandoned her and she glanced around now trying to find something to clean herself with. She caught my eyes and blushed deeply at being caught in my door, and though I couldn't imagine why when I smiled at her in my most calming way she blushed deeper, but wandered skittishly into the room anyway. I tried my best not to get caught up in this miniscule exchange. But what could it possibly mean?

Bella seated herself in the empty chair before me. She looked away from me and I was honestly jealous of the floor, because I wanted desperately to try, even futilely, to understand that unknown language spoken by her eyes. She finally looked at me and I realized I'd spent an inappropriate amount of time staring at her.

"So… Ms. Swan, are you close to your roommate, Alice Brandon?" I asked, looking away to some files. I was embarrassed, but luckily I wasn't prone to blushing.

"Bella, please, and yes, she's my best friend," Bella answered very softly, but not too nervous or uncomfortable. She was just a little shy and a bit of an unsure person anyway.

"Bella, then, do you know why she's here?" I asked, trying, even harder, to be gentle and comforting.

"Yes, she sees things that aren't there. She thinks she sees the future. She thinks it's all really going to happen," she seemed almost rehearsed as she replied.

"And what is it that you're in here for, Bella?" I knew this wasn't the safest place to start, but I couldn't really be helped by her or help Alice for that matter if she wasn't sane.

"I… was very wrong before, and I… k-killed my parents," she stuttered out. This was hard for her. I knew nothing about her, but, difficult as she was to read, I could almost taste the pure remorse and guilt in the air. She furtively looked around the room, everywhere, but my face. She was hurting. I winced and nodded.

"It's okay, Bella. Now, do you want to help Alice?" I asked. She nodded hesitantly. "Then you just have to tell me what you know about her. That's not that hard is it." I felt silly talking to this beautiful, fully adult and very intelligent-seeming young woman as if she were a child.

"No, but Dr. Cullen if you're going to ask me questions and take care of my friend, then might I perhaps ask a few in return?" she reasoned. She couldn't look up and it seemed she wasn't anticipating a "yes." Now, she was acting nervous.

"That seems fair. What do you want to know?" I asked. She looked up surprised, but not ungrateful.

"Dr. Cullen, have you ever dealt with someone like Alice?" she asked soft again.

"Well yes, I have helped quite a few delusional…" I stopped. She was shaking her head.

"You've misunderstood. I should say have you dealt with people… who _seem_ calm and collected, but are really… _hurt_ inside and in need of… Care? Love? Comfort?" she explained slowly. She was searching for the right words.

"I believe that almost everyone who acts calm and collected is hiding quite a lot of fears and troubles, and of course everyone needs care, love and comfort in their life," I said cautiously. I hoped that was what she needed to hear. She smiled brilliantly in response.

"Dr. Cullen, I only asked because Alice is very alone. She needs people to trust. I think you're a good doctor and can get rid of this crazy idea that she has, but I don't want you to destroy _her_. It's an unwanted parasite, so kill it if you must, but leave her alone. Alice deserves that much," Bella told me. She held my gaze for once. She seemed to be trying to read my eyes every bit as much as I was trying to read hers. Where was the murderer in this lovely and caring girl? She seemed to be begging me silently to understand. I nodded.

"I'll take care of Alice," I finally said. With this verbal recognition, she smiled again, softly.

"Then please, ask me anything, but be aware that I can only tell you what I know," she said. She seemed to have lost her courage again.

"Do you know much about Alice's past?" I asked. There were some things written in her file, but the things patients say to doctors are often not what they mean, especially a doctor like Dr. Gray. He seemed to make all of his patients uncomfortable and quiet, which wasn't at all the behavior I needed from my patients. Bella glanced away, thinking.

"She did have a family. But they shipped her off to a mental health facility as soon as she mentioned her visions to her parents. She escaped once when she was fifteen. I think… I think she saw a man killing a couple, and she had been begging for the doctors there to call the police, but they wouldn't. So, she left and she went to the police. They laughed in her face for saying that someone _would_ be murdered by a man any day now without any proof. So she decided to try the people she'd seen killed. I don't know much about what happened after that, but she met the man she thought was a killer on the way or something and attacked him. That's all I can tell you."

"Okay, what about you and her? How did you become friends?" I wondered.

"We just are. She's a very excitable person. I think, I'm more relaxed." _And warm,_ I wanted to say. "We balance each other out. It doesn't hurt that we were made roommates." I nod to this perfectly logical response. It was still a little hard to believe she was a killer and in this mental hospital; she seemed so perfectly sane to me. I shook it off again.

I talked with Bella for about an hour more and finally I realized I was probably keeping her from some meal. I called for a nurse to escort her to the dining hall. Both Bella and I were displeased to see Nurse Greco waiting at the door. I looked through her file again after she had left. Then Alice's again. Then Bella's. Then Alice's. Dr. James Gray had been in charge of both. I wondered about Dr. Gray. Was he what was throwing me off here? Or was there something much bigger and much worse at play in the Volturi Retreat? Or were both guesses off? Was I the one messed up?

I left my office. I planned to simply seek out one of my other patients. Her name was Leah Clearwater. I meant to check her room and everything, but as I was passing the nurses' station Nurse Victoria Gray grabbed my arm. I turned startled.

"Is there something you need Dr. Cullen?" she demanded. She was still attached to my arm.

"I'm alright, thank you, Victoria. I was just looking for a patient of mine," I said trying to untangle myself from her.

"Which patient is that? I can look it up for you, right now!" She said practically dragging me over to the desk. "Wouldn't want you running all over the hospital, would we?" she continued.

"How else am I supposed to stay in shape?" I joked uncomfortably, still trying to free myself.

"Well I would want to stop that. You do look rather… fit," she said, looking at me through her eyelashes. Her hand trailed down my chest and she bit her lip. I leaned away just a little.

"Leah Clearwater… She's the patient I'm looking for," I said. There was no way I could allow that kind of conversation to continue. I looked away from her and caught a bulky man with blond hair and brown eyes in scrubs glaring at me. What the hell is going on?

"Leah Clearwater?" Another nurse asked. I nodded. "She's at her secession with Dr. Greco. You won't be able to see her until after dinner at the earliest," she explained.

"It's only two o'clock! What kind of secession takes all day?" I demanded.

"Dr. Greco's secessions are very long. You can't rush an evaluation, Dr. Cullen. It's very important. Not to mention that Dr. Greco's secessions are emotionally draining and most patients need rest after such a long and difficult secession," she said. She spoke too fast and with an undertone of nervousness. She didn't like explaining this to me. I nodded curtly and stalked off in search of my patient anyway. I found Dr. Greco's office with difficulty.

First, everyone I passed attempted to halt my search. They needed help with this and that. They had endless questions. They all seemed terribly nervous and grabby. I continued on anyway, ignoring requests and postponing questions. It was only when I passed Dr. Gerandy and Dr. Carmen Garza. They watched wide-eyed as I passed. They seemed worried, but not displeased when they saw where I was going.

My second difficulty was simply that I didn't know where this office was. But where ever my colleagues tried to steer me I went the opposite way of. I found his office in the far end of the hospital. It seemed well away from anything important and I was surprised. Why was it hidden in the darkest corner of the Retreat. Just when I was about to knock on the door it burst open. Nurse Greco was trying to support a weak and angry girl. She was clearly of Native American decent. Her shiny black hair, cut short, and her dark skin matched with very dark eyes made her look like a Native American, of course. She swiped and spat at Nurse Greco, but her anger was feeble and unimpressive. I instinctively threw out my hand to block a blow to Nurse Greco's face. She turned on me and I was forced to restrain her completely, which wasn't too difficult.

"Dr. Cullen, didn't anyone tell you, you can't see your patients until several hours after their secession with Dr. Greco?" Jane asked furiously.

"Of course, _everyone _told me," I replied.

"Then what, may I ask, possessed you to come down here?"

"I said they all told me, but I never said I listened," I snapped, turning and leaving, all the while dragging Leah Clearwater away from her. She looked stunned. I needed to speak to Carlisle… and soon.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Poem

The only book I had was a little one, filled with poems. It was really quite a nice book to have. I've read it so many times I know it by heart. But each time I read the poems they seem to reveal a little more of themselves to me. I have my favorites. The poems are all good, but some really shine through, some are truly great. The simple poems that say exactly what they should never pull at my heart; they rarely evoke any true feelings at all. Then there are subtler ones. Ones that beat around the bush and let you do the work. I love those. I feel more alive when I think about why the author would say sincerely, instead genuinely.

Alice is changing, fast. She talks all the time now, which she never used to and she paints lovely _real_ things in her art class, instead of her visions. She eats when Dr. Cullen asks. She answers all his questions. She's practically a different person!

I can see how different he is from all the other doctors at this place. He coaxes and speaks softly. He never rushes into things she's not comfortable with. He's sweeter than anyone I've ever met. Not to mention he sees what's wrong here at the hospital. He stopped her "secessions" with Dr. Greco. Alice is the happiest and most calm person in the dangerous ward. It might not sound like much, but it really is.

But I over heard a conversation. I was meeting with Dr. Cullen again about Alice when I heard him speaking on the phone with someone.

"She seems calm and realistic for once. She still believes her visions are real and true, but I can't imagine her hurting anyone ever again, which essentially means that she isn't 'dangerous' anymore. I'm asking you to put her in a lower security ward. I don't think keeping her in the same ward as maniacs and killers is helpful." I swallowed a sob. He meant me. He wanted Alice away from me. That's fair. He's right. I am a… killer. I turned around and ran away. I realized I wanted Dr. Cullen to like me. I wanted him to care about me. I wanted to be rescued by him, too. Alice said he was supposed to be with her, but that he would eventually turn to me. It was stupid that I should wish she was right. What did a handsome, perfectly sane, kind doctor want with a plain, crazy murderer? The only thing killer about him was his smile and the only thing perfect about me was my perfect delusions.

I sighed and flipped the page to my favorite poem. Fire and Ice by Robert Frost.

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice

My door flies open and I jump back in terror. It's been a few days since Dr. Gray came to give me my medication. I guess I'd fallen into a false sense of security and the trap door had finally fallen out from under me.

But Dr. Gray wasn't standing in my door way. Dr. Cullen was. At first relief flooded through me, but then I remembered that he thought I was a terrible human being (which I have admitted to myself I am) and wanted to take my only friend in the world away. Not to mention there was no guarantee that Dr. Gray wouldn't come later to get me. I looked away from him.

"Bella? Are you ready for your medication?" Dr. Cullen asked.

"Yes, Dr. Cullen," I answered softly, as I rolled up my sleeve with shaky fingers. He sat on my bed and I offered him my arm.

"Bella, I was under the impression that you were difficult when anyone tried to give you this," he said holding the syringe close to my arm, but he didn't inject anything yet.

"No, Dr. Cullen. It's just when…" I trail off and swallowed. Dr. Cullen wouldn't believe me if I told him what Dr. Gray liked to do. He would tell on me. He doesn't need anymore reasons to take Alice away.

"What is it?"

I ignored his question and asked on of my own. "Dr. Cullen, are you going to take Alice away from me?" I murmured.

"What do you mean? To another ward?" he asked.

"Yes. Is Alice going to stop being my roommate?" I demanded.

"Well…"

"She's the only friend I have. Please, don't take her away from me," I practically begged. I couldn't look at him as I pleaded for the only thing that kept me sane. I felt bad taking away Alice opportunity to be free of a filthy murderer like me, but I needed her. I couldn't deny that.

"Bella, I'd like to think you have one other friend here." He smiled gently back.

"Who?" I asked.

"Me, Silly! Aren't we friends?" he chuckled. It was a lovely sound.

"Why would you befriend a killer?" I said, my voice twisted in self-hatred and guilt.

"I didn't know you then, but the girl I see in front of me, she's not a killer. I think, you are a different person than you were then. I think you deserve a second chance," he answered. I wasn't convinced.

"You're still a doctor and I'm still a patient," I argued. He tried and failed to catch my eyes. I kept them safely away. His gaze was too persuasive.

"It doesn't matter to me. In fact, you should probably call me Edward. It'll be less confusing when my dad comes to visit anyway," he offered.

"It just doesn't work that way. You'll always be Dr. Cullen and I'll always be that crazy Swan girl."

"Why does it have to be that way? Why can't I just be Edward and you just be Bella?"

"Because it can't be! I've never been right and I never will be. I walk down the street and people can see it in me. They know there's something bad in me and they're right! But you… you, they can tell, are a good person. You help people like Alice… I hurt good people like m-my… my parents!" I started to sob and Edward scooped me up with ease. He held me and let me cry.

"I think it's time to go to sleep now, Bella," Edward finally said, near the end of my crying jag. I swallowed and nodded.

"D… uh, Edward," I smiled tentatively. "Would you see if you personally could deliver my medication…? Dr. Gray… he always…uh, restrains me," I said. I hoped he couldn't hear the false note in my words. Technically, I was telling the truth, just not the whole truth. For some crazy reason I still wanted him to think well of me, but I also needed to escape Dr. Gray. He nodded and with care and gentle pressure, he delivered my medication. I relaxed into bed. I felt no worry as I slipped into unconsciousness while Edward's green eyes were on me. I felt safe, such a rare feeling for me, a girl with no family and only one… well, two friends. It was wonderful.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Knots

I can't untie these stupid laces. My hands are shaking and my head is anywhere, but on my shoulders. I haven't seen Bella in the hospital, but I've seen her in my dreams. Why does everything have to be so complicated? Stupid knotted sneakers! How the hell did they get so knotted!

I'm a mess. I'm more paranoid than my patients. I'm certainly developing insomnia. I have zero appetite. I'm obsessed with… Isabella Marie Swan. Fantastic. I mean to say, essentially that one rather pretty… alright I'll admit it, one absolutely beautiful, kind, sensitive… killer has made it impossible for me to trust anyone I work with, eat, sleep, think… do anything productive really. I'm a mess. So I've been calling the best psychiatrist I know, my father.

"_This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I can't get to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number I'll make sure to get back to you. Leave a message at the beep… BEEP."_

"Hey, Carlisle. It's Edward… again. I know you're at a conference and can't really talk, but I need some advice… and some help… and maybe for you to come home. I don't know, really. I just have this feeling about the hospital. I think that… uh, there might be something going on that you don't know about. I don't know. Call me back if you get a chance… thanks."

"_This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I can't get to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number I'll make sure to get back to you. Leave a message at the beep… BEEP."_

"Carlisle? Listen, I know I've called a bunch, but I would really appreciate a little help here. There's this… well… Dr. Gray has a patient… but that's not important. Leah Clearwater… Well the Grecos seemed… And she was crazy. I don't know. You had to be there. I need you. Call me back."

"_This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I can't get to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number I'll make sure to get back to you. Leave a message at the beep… BEEP."_

"It's me. I just… there's… there's so much going on. It's crazy. Guess that's why it's a mental institution… I need you to come back. You need to see… the place. It's a freaking… well madhouse. I don't know. Call me soon. Please,"

"_This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I can't get to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number I'll make sure to get back to you. Leave a message at the beep… BEEP."_

"I think I'm going insane. Honestly. Call. Please."

I was thinking of leaving one more message when my phone went off. Carlisle!

"_Edward?"_

"Carlisle! Thank God!"

"_What's wrong son? Your messages were… Are you alright?" _

"I'm fine, honestly, but I think you should come home. There's something _wrong_ at the Retreat."

"_What is it? Are the patients…?"_

"It's not the patients that worry me, Carlisle."

"_I don't understand… If not the patients then what?"_

"The doctors, Carlisle. They behave very strangely. There's something off there, Carlisle. I'm worried about the safety of the patients and them getting the help they need."

"_Edward, really! The Riccis have handled this hospital longer than I've been alive! They know what they're doing, even if I handle all the money. They are good doctors. They would never allow any funny business."_

"Maybe something's slipping through the cracks, because I've never seen them do a personal evaluation of the staff or the patients. In fact, I've never seen them in the hospital! How can you tell me they are handling it if they aren't there? Carlisle, I am there, everyday. I know something's not right!"

"_Maybe that's the problem, Edward. Maybe you need a day off. You're last message did say you were 'going insane. Honestly.'"_

"I'm not insane, Carlisle. I was embellishing a bit. You know I wasn't being serious. Now back to the matter at hand, will you at least consider coming back and doing an evaluation?"

"_No, Edward. Whatever is going on can wait until I get home."_

"No, it can't! Carlisle, you're going to be back in a month at the earliest! Don't you value your patients' lives and sanity a bit more than to abandon them, at risk, for more than a month?"

"_That's not fair and you know it. I've devoted my whole life to them. They are in no danger, Edward. I trust the Riccis. Now, get some rest over the long weekend and take something if you have trouble sleeping."_

"I'm working this weekend actually."

"_When's your next day off?"_

"At least five more days away."

"_No wonder you're losing your mind! Stop working so much, son! You're going to go prematurely gray! Get some sleep and take care. Bye."_

"Bye," I responded gloomily after he had already hung up. Maybe he's right. I'm just not sure anymore. All I could think of was poor Bella surrendering completely to me. I could feel that she truly hated herself and thought she didn't deserve my friendship. I was regretting trying to move Alice. I genuinely thought, her relationship with Bella was good for her. Bella was a strongly grounded person, who she was close to. But I did want her to be more social like I knew she could be if the people around her were less frightening. There was also Bella though. She wasn't my patient, but I could see that removing Alice would kill her. Not the way she was killing me, but in a much more real and painful way. Bella needed Alice every bit as much as Alice needed Bella. They couldn't be separated. Wasn't there anyway to move them both up?

"How are you, Alice?"

"Pretty good, Edward. There is something… that you could do for me though," Alice said, but she didn't seem embarrassed. She stared, but flinchingly into my eyes.

"What's that?" I asked, scribbling in my notes.

"I need you to help Bella," she answered, every bit as confident.

My head snapped up. "Bella isn't my patient," I responded immediately.

"No, I know that, but you like her. Don't deny it, because I know you do."

"Alice, Bella really isn't my concern. You are, so can we please talk about you?"

"I know she isn't your patient, but she needs you," she said. She had my attention. "Dr. Gray doesn't treat her well."

"Dr. Gray is a fine doctor," _I hope._

"I don't care about his credentials! He hurts my friend and won't admit that she is perfectly sane, so she can go home!" Alice practically screamed. It had been a long time since she'd had an out burst like this.

"He hurts her? How?" I demanded. I felt like I was about to start shouting, too.

"I don't know. She won't talk to me. But there's something wrong there… maybe if you asked her… maybe she would tell you. You have to try," she commanded seriously.

"I'll speak to Bella about it," I allowed. I couldn't make any promises, but I would get to the bottom of Alice's claim. We talk for a while longer, and then I dismissed her to lunch.

I walk down the hall and saw Dr. Gray outside room 116, Alice and Bella's room. I panicked and raced down the hall. I grabbed his shoulder just as he was about to unlock the door.

"What the hell are you doing, Cullen?" he demanded. In his hand was a syringe. It was clearly Bella's sleep medication, the one I'd promised to give to her. He was still staring at me.

"Victoria's looking for you," I spat out. It was the only thing I could think of.

"She can wait until I finish with my patient," he said, eyeing me suspiciously.

"She really needs you, I think, right now!" I pressed. "Why don't I take care of your patient?" I offered.

"She can be a little… difficult. I think I better handle this one," he argued.

"I can always call Demitri and Felix, if she gets out of control," I lied. I knew Bella would never attack me or even fight me.

"Fine," he muttered handing over the syringe and stalking off in search of his wife. I opened the door and found Bella in bed again. She smiled brilliantly as relief washed over her features.

"Bella," I sighed in relief. I couldn't seem to get enough time with her. She looked almost as please as I was to be together. I had been anxious since I spoke with Alice about her safety. She seemed alright.

"Edward, you kept your promise!" she seemed wildly pleased. I nodded and smiled too.

"Are you ready to get some sleep?" I asked. She nodded and just like the last time began to roll up her sleeve.

"Bella, can I ask you a question, before you take your meds?" I asked, thinking of another promise I made.

"Of course, ask me anything you like. Is it about Alice?" she answered, perfectly at ease and oblivious to my nerves.

"No, it's not about Alice. It's about you and… Dr. Gray," I replied. She suddenly looked pale.

"Oh… and what is it you want to know?" she asked. She wouldn't meet my eyes as she spoke. She looked a little lost as the dying light from her small window lit only half of her face. She looked small and her shoulders slumped and her back hunched in on her face. I sat beside her.

"Does he ever treat you in ways… he _shouldn't?_" I wondered aloud.

She said nothing.

"Tell me, Bella," I commanded. I felt horridly angry. Who could take advantage of a beautiful, kind, young girl? It made me feel sick.

"I can't help you if you won't tell me. Please," I begged, but she still wouldn't look at me.

"If you won't tell me, then…I… I can't keep giving you your medication. Dr. Gray will have to," I threatened. I felt terrible when I saw her turn even paler and her eyes grow wide and fearful. She swallowed, perturbed.

"Then I guess… I'll be seeing less of you," she said, her voice was shaking.

"How can you allow this? Why won't you just let me help you?" I demanded. I didn't want to leave her. I didn't want her hurt. I wanted her safe. I wanted her with me.

"It's easy, because I know I deserve it," she stated simply. She gathered the little purple book that was crumpled and tangled in her sheets and smoothed its pages before setting it on the shelf in the little room. "Bad people have bad lives."

"I was wrong about you," I said as she continued to ignore me. "I thought you were perfectly sane. But now I see you are absolutely crazy. You are insane," I continued. I saw her take a breath. She seemed to be upset, even while she expected the bow. "You are probably the craziest person I've ever met… if you think that you are a bad person… that you don't deserve… the happiest life the world can offer," I whispered. She looked at me finally. There were tears in her eyes.

"Do you promise to believe me? No matter what I say?" she asked, sniffling just a little.

"I swear, whatever you have to say," I agreed.

"I don't have insomnia. He gives me that drug, because… he does things… when I'm asleep," her voice shook and her whole face twisted with the strain. I reached out and hugged her. But inside I felt like I was full of fire. I had never hated anyone so much. She gripped my shirt and whispered "Edward, I… I wake up and I can… tell what he's done… to me." She stared straight into my eyes and waited for some kind of response. She seemed nervous. Did she honestly think I wouldn't believe her?

"What can I do?" I asked and ran a hand through my hair.

"You believe me?" she asked and gave a breathy laughed, giddy with relief.

"Of course I do! But I need to put a stop to this! I need to help you!" I said, jumping up and pacing frantically.

"You don't have to do anything. Just keep believing me, please," she answered with a smile still on her lips. God, she looked beautiful just sitting there waiting for me.

"How can you say that? This is no way to live, Bella! I have to fix this!"

She stood and pulled me to her, effectively ending my pacing across the short room. "Edward, I've lived like this for a long time, and honestly it's just so much better having you know! If you can find some way to fix this, then great, but if not," she shrugged. "I'll live." _But I won't! _

"I need you to be safe, Bella. You… You're important… to me," I muttered. She looked so surprised, but not happy or unhappy.

She kissed my cheek suddenly, just darting in and out. Then she blushed deeply and climbed into her bed. "Maybe you should give me my medication now, Edward."

I shook off my stupor and sat at the foot of her bed. "Why? You don't need it," was all I could think to say in response.

"It doesn't bother me either, and what else are you going to do with it?" she asked and offered me her arm. It all seemed very anticlimactic.

"I suppose," I replied and took her arm into my hands. She winced only a little when I stuck the needle in, then relaxed into her bed. "I'm going to fix this," I said as her eyes began to droop. "I swear." Only after her eyes had closed did I lean down and press my lips to her forehead. I thought I saw her lips twitch into a smile, but I'll never know for sure.

I grabbed my cell phone again and dialed the familiar number.

"_Hello?"_

"Carlisle, this is serious. If you don't do something I am leaving. I will not be a part of this anymore."

"_Edward? What's happened?" _


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Visitor

"Bella, you have a visitor," Angela called. Everyone in the game room looked up and then at me. My face warmed at the attention

I stuttered out "A-are you sure?"

"Yes, he asked for Isabella Marie Swan. I think that's you, dear," she answered kindly. I stood, unstably on my feet. I'd never had a real friend besides Alice or a visitor, so why was everything changing now?

Angela escorted me to the visiting quarters. Dr. Gray, with his narrow gray eyes watching me, put heavy metal cuffs on my wrists and ankles. I felt nervous for the first time in ages about my appearance. I had ever been pretty and in the Retreat I had become even skinnier than I had been. I still had boring and plain brown hair that curled the way it wanted to and never the way I wanted it to. My eyes were a perfectly common brown color and my skin remained much too pale. I realized, once again that Edward, absurdly handsome as he was, had yet another reason not to notice me. But he had!

Then they led me to the actual room, which was (surprisingly) practically full. They brought me to a table that only one person sat at and at first I didn't recognize who was sitting in front of me, though he looked no different than the last time I saw him. Three years had not affected his black hair or his dark skin or his deep brown eyes or the thick muscles on his arms or his lazy, bright white smile. I instantly felt colder.

"Hey Bells, how've you been?" Jacob said with that same lazy grin. I stared at him. "What? Didn't you miss your hubby?" he laughed.

"I would have thought you'd have gotten a divorce from your insane wife," I said, letting my tone turn icy. He laughed again.

"Actually I was going to just a few days ago, but you know I just love you too much, Bells!" he joked.

"Did you love me so much you couldn't visit me in here for three years? Did you love me so much that you couldn't even write? Did you love me so much you ran off with other girls the day you were free of crazy Isabella Swan?" I demanded. He smiled on.

"We both know you're not crazy, Bella. Stop acting so childish," he answered, finally less amused. He ignored my accusations

"Well, _I'm_ pretty sure I am. _I'm_ pretty sure I killed my parents!" I answered, trying to sound detached.

"Well, _I'm_ not so sure," he laughed. "Did they really convince yourself that you did it?" he asked, still chuckling.

"What the hell do you mean? Of course, I did it! I was in that room; I was… covered in their… blood. I killed them."

"I know where you were, but you didn't kill them, Bella. It was… well I can't tell you, because that would ruin everything. You wouldn't be crazy anymore. At least not crazy enough to be in here" Jacob smirked.

"Why does it matter to you where I am, Jacob? I wouldn't waste my time with you if I were out there."

"No, I suppose not. But you would be able to file for divorce. And you would have control over your inheritance, and I wouldn't," he said in a lower tone. I glanced around wondering if anyone could hear us. Dr. Gray's eyes were still on me and I shivered at that. He didn't seem to be close enough ton hear though.

"You got all of my money?" I said with only mild interest, and none of the outrage that I probably should be feeling. He looked surprised by my reaction.

"No, would that bother you?" he asked.

"Not really, what good would it do me in here?" I shrug.

"That's just what I was thinking. So wifey, this is what happened. I was going to file for divorce when I realized that despite where you are, we are still married, legally speaking. Then I looked a little deeper and found that, if I get a note from a doctor and take the little psycho home, then I can get all of her money. I can just lock you in a room let you out once a day to see a doctor. The rest of the money is mine to spend. Since I know you're not a killer I get a bunch of money with zero risk. Fantastic isn't it?" he explained, his eyes were bright.

"You make me sound like a dog you can just lock in a kennel," I spat.

"Best part of the plan," he answered, grinning.

"I won't go."

"Oh, sorry, I almost forgot. There's another great thing about this plan. _You don't get a_ _choice._ If the state can get you off their hands then believe me they will," he answered. I felt sick.

"You are rotten and disgusting!" I shouted and I saw Dr. Gray step towards us. Jacob waved him off.

"Don't be so dramatic, Bella. It's got to be better than living here," he said seriously. I had to think about that. Maybe it would have been better a few weeks ago, but since Edward arrived things had changed so much. I wasn't sure if I _could _live without him anymore.

"Dr. Cullen!" exclaimed a nurse at the nurses' station. I whipped around expecting to see Edward, but instead I saw Dr. _Carlisle_ Cullen. He was good looking, too, but I wanted to see Edward's bronze hair and stunning green eyes, not Carlisle's blond hair and bright blue eyes.

I was surprised to see him. He greeted all the nurse's and headed in the direction of Edward's office. I had to wonder what would send him in that direction. Was he going to see Edward? Would they talk about me? About Dr. Gray?

And what about Jacob? Was there anything Edward could do to help me on that front? I didn't see how. Jacob needed to take me in to get the money and I couldn't argue. Maybe if I was lucky my doctor wouldn't sign off. Or maybe I would have to do something crazy, inexcusable. I shook off this idea immediately. I worked hard everyday to be sane and to show everyone, and I would not lose all of my hard work or my sense of self over Jacob Black. I couldn't.

The door swings open and I only register the color of his hair before I'm up and hurrying to his side. He quickly throws the door closed before my arms can wind their way around him with no intention of letting go.

"We need to be careful, Bella! I'm not sure everyone else here would understand our rather peculiar… friendship," he said carefully, struggling for the word. I removed my arms, slow and jerky. Was all we had a rather peculiar friendship? Then kissing him on the cheek had most definitely overstepped his boundaries. How stupid could I be? I blushed and avoided his gaze. I sank back into my bed. This day just got worse and worse.

He sat beside me. It was silent. He was waiting I could tell, but (in a silly attempt to regain some dignity or maybe some small amount of revenge) I refused to speak (preferring instead to make him uncomfortable). I also wasn't sure what I could say. "Is there something wrong, Bella?" he asked. I lifted my eyes and stared hard into his, hoping to covey something. It seemed to serve only to further confuse him so I looked to the window instead. "What is it?" he asked. He was getting frustrated with my lack of response.

"Nothing. Honestly, I'm just a little tired. It was a long day," I answered without turning back to him.

"What did you do?" he asked. He tried to lighten the mood with this casual chatter, but I wasn't having any of it.

"What would you do if I left?" I asked, offhand.

"What do you mean? Escape from the Retreat?" he demanded.

"Not exactly… if I just wasn't here anymore for… other reasons," I reassured.

"Would I get to see you?" he asked, calmed.

"No," I answered. I knew Jacob and I knew he thought the more he kept me locked up the easier his life would be. He was probably right.

"I don't understand, Bella. If you got out of here why wouldn't you want to see me?" he asked and ran his hand through his hair.

I flipped around to face him. "I never said I was _choosing _not to see you," I told him.

"Then who would be making that decision?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter! I asked you a question! What would you do if you could never see me again?" I demanded. I twisted and knelt in front of him.

"Bella really, what is this about?" he asked. I sighed and looked away again.

"I had a visitor today. My… husband," I admitted.

"YOU'RE MARRIED," Edward's voice shot up. I winced.

"Not the way you're thinking," I sighed.

"And what other way is there?" he demanded.

"Look there isn't much love lost between me and… him. In fact, I haven't seen him in three years and even before that things were… strained, at best," I explained, even I could hear how tired my voice was.

"You still could have told me! And here I was…" he stopped short, embarrassed. I smiled a little and felt some hope that maybe he didn't just want "peculiar friendship" with me.

"I _am _telling you. Anyway, that's not really the point," I added.

"Then please tell me, what is?"

"Jacob… he wants the money left to me by my parents, but he can't get anything unless he takes care of me," I replied.

"Takes care of you how?" he seemed suspicious.

"He needs my doctor's sign off and a certain amount of security, but after that it's up to him what I do. He pretty much intends to lock me up, so he won't have to deal with me," I continued. "Like I said, not much love lost."

"I won't let him!" Edward promised rashly.

"As much as I appreciate that, there's not much either of us can do," I told him, I sounded… defeated. There was silence again as both of us thought.

"Bella… is there a chance that you would be… better off with him?" he asked. I shot up. He was looking at me with an odd combination of distress and bravery. He wanted to do what was best for me.

"Away from you is worse, Edward. Always," I swore. He looked significantly cheered by this.

"Then we'll figure this out. I swear, I'll help you through this," he promised and I just hugged him. I stared into his eyes and he gave me a crooked smile.

"Thank you!" I said, truly overjoyed.

"For what exactly?" he asked.

"Just for being a decent human being and for caring about me despite what I've done," I told him sincerely.

"You are so welcome Bella; you truly deserve it," he said, smiling wider.

"Speaking of what I've done, Jacob said something else…" I trailed off. I wasn't sure how to tell him this.

"What now?" he asked wary. His green eyes were on my face and I flushed a little, because I really loved his eyes.

"Well, I'm not saying I believe him or anything, just he said… that I didn't do it… that I never… killed them," I said choking out the words. I wanted so much for it to be true, that I couldn't be sure. I was too biased to think clearly. Maybe Edward would be able to sort through all this and help me decide what's real. He didn't speak. His green eyes were wide with shock.

"Did he say who he thought did? Where did he get this information? Why now? Why didn't he help you all those years ago if he knew the truth?" he demanded. He jumped up again and paced around like a caged animal. The tiny room couldn't hold his anger or determination to find the truth. I was just glad he hadn't said it was totally impossible. Maybe I was a good person. I was rejoicing as he paced around. "Well?" he asked more gently to me. I snapped back to reality.

"He says he saw it, but he wouldn't say who really did it. He didn't want anyone to prove I was sane, so I could get out on my own. I didn't think to ask why he didn't speak up before," I answered.

"So what? Up until this point he was just going to let you pay the price for some else's murderer? He was going to let you be tortured and abused in this hell hole until the day you died?" he asked, outraged.

"I suppose. I told you there wasn't much love lost. He was probably bribed or just didn't care enough or wanted to get rid of his insane wife and move on to bigger and better things," I said, without much thought. "But do you think he's telling the truth? Could I really be innocent?" I asked him.

"Of course I believe it! Bella his explanation makes ten times more sense than you ever being a murderer! I have never understood how you could be! I'm only worried about proving it," he trailed off calculating. I looked out the window again. Someday I might be on the other side of those bars!

"This is truly the happiest day of my life," I murmured. This seemed to catch his attention. He sank down beside me and studied my face, thoughtfully.

"You are an incredible person, you know that?" he smiled that beautiful crooked smile.

"What?" I laughed, embarrassed. I could feel the heat in my face and the tips of my ears.

"You are. No one else I know could simply let go of their sufferings and the injustice committed against them to be happy after a day like this," he said with reverence in his voice. There was a soft smile on his lips and I wanted to kiss it, to soak up that happiness and share my own. I pulled away and spoke instead, trying to avoid thinking about it.

"I haven't forgotten. I just set them aside, because… honestly, I have never had such a good reason to be happy. I have never had such a bright future! I want to enjoy it! Yes, I will no doubt be angry later, probably furious. I'll feel cheated and hurt and hopeless, but those have all come before and will surely come again. I'm not willing to let this, to let my happiness, no matter how fleeting, be ruined by such common and stupid feelings as those. I will enjoy this!" I laughed. It felt so good to let the new lightness in my chest and really my whole body bubble over my lips.

He continued to stare with that soft smile. He looked pleased and even a little impressed. He sighed. "In the meantime, what do we do?" he wondered aloud, but I didn't think he was talking to me. He flopped back on my bed and sighed again. "Maybe I'll just steal you away, huh? Maybe you and I will just run off and never come back," he mused. He looked at me and gave me a lazy grin. Jacob's grins I despised, but Edward looked like my own personal Apollo. My heart was fluttering. I think it wanted to run away with him, too.

I climbed into bed. "Or maybe we'll just dream about it," He sat up so I could slip my legs under the covers.

"What a beautiful dream," he murmured and stood before me. He was staring right at me when he said _beautiful. _He stretched and a thin line of skin was revealed between his shirt and his pants. My heart want went wild and I wanted to pull him down into my bed and feel that skin for myself. I had never felt this way before.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Intuition

That disgusting dog threatened to take her away from me! And she was married! To him! Ugh, this is the worst day of my life. Or rather yesterday was, since it's 1am now. No girl. No sleep. Perfect, just perfect…

"Good morning, Alice," I greeted her as I entered my office.

"Good morning, Dr. Cullen," she answered. She was smiling brightly, too brightly.

"Is there something you'd like to share?" I asked, suspicious.

"Why no, Dr. Cullen. What would make you say that?" she answered feigning surprise. I looked at her through narrow eyes. She just smiled.

"What are you up to Alice?" I asked point-blank.

"Now, why would you think I was up to something? Honestly, Dr. Cullen, I thought you were all about trust. Who isn't being trusting, now?" she answered, too innocently.

"I'll be watching, Alice. So how're you doing?" I asked. We proceeded with our session and Alice seemed to have improved immensely. Everything was fine, until I asked about her social life.

"Well, there might be something new, but I'm not sure I'm completely comfortable talking about it," she responded, but she did look uncomfortable. She had a little knowing smile resting smugly on her lips.

"What would make you feel more comfortable, Alice?" I asked. I knew she would get what she wanted anyway.

"Would you tell me a little something about you social life? Please, Dr. Cullen?" she asked.

"Like what, Alice? I'm not particularly social. Actually, I'd say this job is my life," I offered.

"Oh? Well, that's not what I heard… or rather observed, I should say," she answered.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Alice," I answered honestly.

"I just thought that you and Bella seem rather close lately," Alice answered. I blushed a little. "I knew it! You and Bella like each other!" she exclaimed, looking like she was about to burst.

"I help Bella out. I'm a doctor. That's what I do. I help patients. Bella's a patient," I answered hurriedly. I was still blushing though.

"She's not your patient though. Why do you help her?" she demanded, her eyes wild. She didn't believe me.

"Y-you know Dr. Gray! He's… horrible. I'm just… we… I-I… Fine, I like her," I dropped my head into my hands. All the times I'd wanted to be with Bella, to hold her, to kiss her. It seemed so awful and stupid when I said it out loud. She was a patient for Christ's sakes! Doctors can get in so much trouble for those kinds of things. I would be taking advantage of her. She's only 21! I'm almost 27, for Christ's sakes!

"Yes! I knew it! Wonderful!" Alice laughed bringing me back to reality.

"No, Alice, it is anything, but wonderful! It's awful and wrong and impossible and… and … God, Alice, I'm such a terrible person for even thinking that way about a patient," I muttered into my hands.

"Nonsense, get you're self together! You are a great person! You want to help her! And Bella's very pretty–" Alice said.

"Bella's beautiful," I interrupted.

"She's smart–"

"Brilliant," I corrected.

"Kind, caring, giving and all around great," she continued, with every word I felt less and less deserving of her.

"Bella is absolutely perfect, I'm not arguing that," I answered.

"Well, my point is… if there's one thing she's not, it's insane," she finished.

"I know that."

"I'm not sure you do. She's not mentally incapable of making her own decisions. You even said she was 'brilliant.' I just, think she should get the chance to decide. I know you don't think you deserve her, but it's really up to her, isn't it?" Alice asked.

"I'm still six years older than her, and as long as she's in here she can't have any relationships really," I argued, though I wanted desperately to agree.

"Six years? That's not so much, and like I said it's up to her. As far as her being in here… well I think that she'll be out soon enough," she said.

"Visions, Alice?" I sighed.

"No… more like intuition. Normal people can have that, right?" she asked.

"I suppose, but don't take it too seriously," I warned.

"I won't. I just have a feeling that all this will work out. I think you'll be together someday," Alice smiled. I had never wished so much that Alice was psychic… actually I had never wished that at all, but now I did. How could it all just work itself out?

"Bella?" I asked entering her room. It was dark and quiet. I flicked the light switch and the florescent lights blinked to life above. Bella's room was perfectly neat and still. Nothing stirred. I walked in and looked around, nothing. I was just going to deliver her medicine after convincing Dr. Gray that I'd seen Riley and Victoria together in the parking lot, which I had… just not right now. I felt panicky for no apparent reason. But where was she?

_Dr. Greco?_ I suddenly worried. I hurried through the halls. Whatever Dr. Greco did was not a good thing and I was going to protect Bella from it at all costs. I ran not caring about the stares I received. I arrived at the office and grabbed the door knob. I tugged and tugged and shook it. My irrational fear grew stronger. I was practically shaking as I frantically pulled at the door. Bella could be on the other side! They could be hurting her!

I walked back a few steps and ran at the door. It killed my shouldered to do it, but then door collapsed as a rammed it. Inside was something I never expected. Bella was strapped to a chair with her face twisted in pain. She was red in the face and she was biting hard on a white gag. It only barely muffled her screams of pain. I'd never seen something so horrible. Nurse Greco ran over to me to get me to leave. Dr. Greco stood at the controls. I shoved her aside. I grabbed Dr. Greco's white lab coat and punched him as hard as I could. I looked at the controls trying to find an off button. Finally I flipped the switch and saw Bella relax. I rushed to her tearing off all the straps and pulling her into my arms. She began sobbing and clutching at me. She couldn't stand even. Nurse Greco ran over to the two of us.

"Dr. Cullen! I don't care who your father is you had no right to burst into this office…" She began, flustered and outraged.

"You mean torture chamber! I had no right to protect an innocent young woman from being tortured!" I shouted. My blood pounded in my ears.

"Innocent? Is a murder an innocent to you? She deserves it! She deserves everything she gets!" Jane snarled. I left slamming the door in the witch's face and dragging Bella with me. She was sobbing still. I brought her to my office. I couldn't imagine allowing anyone to find her in her room. I sat her down and gave her water.

"Are you alright?" I asked. She nodded taking a deep breath. "I'm so sorry Bella," I sighed folding her into my arms.

"Really Edward, it's nothing new," she sighed. I pulled away

"Nothing new? How long have they been doing this? How often?" I demanded.

"Since before I came here… they do it to me about twice a week," she mumbled softly. I hugged her more fiercely.

"Never again, I promise," I whispered in her ear. She merely pressed her face closer to my chest in response. I kissed her hair. I was so glad she was okay. There was silence for a long time as I just held her. Then I pulled back. "Would you feel okay with Angela here? Would you feel safe?" I asked, look into her eyes. She nodded cautiously. I didn't want to leave, but I realized there was still some business to take care of.

I called Angela and she understood perfectly what I need. I left her with Bella and ran off to go to my car. I saw Carlisle in the hall. My eyes opened wide. I was just about to call him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as soon as I reached him. I pulled him off to another corridor.

"You asked me to come," he answered.

"And you said 'no,'" I countered.

"Well I decided to at least stop in," he replied "you sounded very worried."

"I was… I am. What did you find?" I demanded.

"Honestly Edward… I found nothing. Everything seems fine to me," he said.

"Everything is not fine! You have to close the hospital now! You have to launch a full blown investigation!" I whispered aggressively.

"What? I can't do that! There's no reason at all!" he said.

"You have to trust me Carlisle! You have to do it!" I commanded.

"No! Show me some evidence! Hell, just tell me what you think is going on and I'll look into it! But I will not close this hospital for no reason!" he answered.

"I can't tell you this second! You have to trust me!" I begged.

"I wish I could, son, but with everything you've said and done lately… I just can't anymore! I can't risk my career on a hunch!" he said.

"Fine, but you made me do this Carlisle," I said running back to my office. I was getting Bella out of here… tonight.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Escape

9:28. 10:19. 11:46. 12:32_. _Angela has fallen asleep on the couch. The hospital is silent. I'm alone still. _Is he ever coming back?_

The door swings open. Angela doesn't stir as Edward rushes over. He has a brief case with him and some papers in his hands. He runs to his desk and starts pulling things out of the drawers and off the top. I watch silently.

"What are you doing?" I finally ask.

"Getting the hell out of here," he mutters without looking up. My heart sinks. My throat clenches. _Why did he say he would help me and take cared of me? Why did I believe him?_ "Come on," he says grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the office. He left Angela where she was. He half dragged me all the way back to my room. But even as he hurried me through the halls I thought he was trying to be careful with me. He never dragged me, if I was slow. When we reached my room my heart dropped another ten feet. Everything he'd said meant nothing if he was going to leave me here alone. He wasn't going to help me. _Of course_ he wasn't going to!

He raced into my room and immediately started grabbing my few things off of the shelf. "What are you doing?" I asked again.

"I already told you, I'm getting us out of here," he answered, stuffing the book of poems in, too. My heart managed to climb its way up again.

"No, you said you were getting yourself out of here… not us," I answered cautiously. He looked up, surprised.

"Well I'm not going without you. Bella, didn't I just promise to protect you?" he demanded. I nodded. "Then that's what I'm going to do. Let's go," he said as if it was the simplest thing in the world, and for a moment I felt like it was, too. But the truth was there were people looking for me and bars on my window and a lock on my door.

Edward peeked outside then ducked back in. "Crap," he muttered closing it quickly and pacing a bit. His face was calculating.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Dr. Greco is out there. We have to go… _now,_" he said in a panicky tone. He walked to the window and shook the bars. He was testing how steady they were. Nothing budged. He pulled out a Swiss army knife and began to twist out each screw. The soft scrape of the wood against the metal drew me ever closer to freedom. I was only realizing just now that I could go. I _could _run away with him. I _could _be free. I _could _start all over. I felt the cold air rush over my face and a second later there was the distant clang of metal. I lifted my head to stare out that narrow window. That little window, that I'd always considered my escape, was now really a gaping hole through which I could climb. I was going _outside_. Edward grinned and ducked out the window. He edged out before lowering himself to the ledge above the window beneath mine. I watched anxiously. He seemed to have no trouble moving lithely from one ledge to the next as he made his way to the fire escape.

On the second ledge he called to me "Climb down, Bella," in a whisper. I tried to follow his movement. I managed to get myself hanging just a few inches above the ledge with both hands gripping the sill of my own window. I felt the cold night air touching my skin where my shirt had ridden up at my waist. My fingers were slowly slipping down the sill. I knew it was only a few feet, but I felt like if I let go I would surely fall straight down to the hard, freezing gravel. There was a scraping and shuffling and Edward's warm arms wound around my waist.

"I got you," he murmured softly in my ear. I felt his hot breath on my neck. My frozen fingers unlocked and I let him set me gently on my feet. He kept his arms around me. I turned toward him, still wrapped in his embrace. I stared at him and put my arms around his neck. I leaned in and he did too. For just a moment I thought _what more could anyone want?_ Then I looked at his lips and I thought _I want so much more. I want us to be together forever. I want to know his family. I want to know him. I want him to know me. I never want this moment to end. I want the next moment to come faster. And most of all… I want to kiss him, right now! _Then he pressed those smooth lips to mine and I wanted to die and to live forever all at once. He brushed them over mine just twice, and then withdrew. I was breathing heavily though we'd only kissed for a moment. Little puffs of smoke left my mouth, but nothing else stirred. Abruptly, he turned and stepped over to the next ledge. I followed suit. Part of me was overjoyed at any touch at all for him, but another part of me was collapsing in on itself at his sudden departure.

We managed to climb all the way to the fire escape, which we then took down to the parking lot. I couldn't stop looking at him, but at the same time it killed me to see him. I'm such a masochist. From the parking lot Edward led the way through the woods to his car. Inside he held out a pile of fabric. I must have looked confused to him.

"You can't just walk around in those clothes," he said gesturing to the uniform. I blushed still not making any move to change. He looked at me expectant and growing slightly more confused. He blushed too and said "Oh, right… I'll just… look this way… ugh, take your time." I nodded and quickly removed my uniform. I found the bundle was a huge shirt clearly meant for a man and a pair of jeans that were also a man's size. I pulled on the T-shirt and went to put on the jeans, but they didn't fit at all. They slipped down every time I moved and I couldn't get my feet out the other. I tried and tried, but finally decided that the T-shirt was long enough that I could go without the jeans.

"I'm done," I muttered softly, my embarrassment over the kiss flaring in my cheeks when I spoke to him. He looked at me and his eyes lingered on my exposed legs. They were pale and thin and I felt uncomfortable with anyone seeing so much skin. He probably didn't think I should be showing off my legs, only it didn't seem like that. It seemed like… I don't know what it was. When he finally tore his eyes off of my legs, he turned on the car and peeled out of there.

He didn't say where we were going, and I couldn't bring myself to speak again, despite how important this was so I simply sat back and watched the road twist and curve only to be swallowed by the car wheels. It was hypnotizing to watch. I fell asleep easily with the late hour and the steady thrum of the car.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight. I'm so sorry for forgetting this in the first seven chapters. Love to all!**

Chapter 8

Truth

Bella was asleep. It was almost 11 o'clock. I pulled into a diner in the little town we'd just entered. We were miles from Seattle, and I finally felt like Bella was safe. All night she's been torturing me with those long smooth legs exposed in the moon light. Her lips would twitch as she muttered out my name and many other things I couldn't understand. _What was she thinking and dreaming about?_

I ordered us two orange juices, and a mixed dozen donuts, because I didn't know what she liked, yet. I hurried back to the car. I didn't want to leave Bella alone for too long. We were still a little too close to Seattle for my liking. We I shut the door to the car I must have been a bit too loud, because Bella shifted over and stirred. She blinked against the intrusive light of the sun and rubbed her eyes. I watched quietly. She was so beautiful.

She looked at me through squinted eyes, and I gave her a gentle smile. I needed to earn back her trust after that wrong, wonderful, stupid and amazing mistake of a kiss. I offered her some break fast and she sat up, but the groaned in pain. I was worried immediately. _Had she been hurt while climbing out of that window?_ Of course then she rubbed her back, stretching, and I realized that she just had to spend the night sleeping in a car. That had to be unpleasant.

"Let me," I offered before I thought about any of the consequences, just like that kiss. She turned away from me tentatively. She brushed her hair to the side, so I would have room to work. Almost as soon as I touched her she gave a groan of relief. I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't help but think of all the _other _ways to make Bella moan. So bad, I know.

She kept making little noises that threatened to push me over the edge. Eventually I had to distract myself from it all. "Are you hungry?" I asked. Her stomach grumbled, and she laughed. "I guess that's a yes," I said, laughing, too. She turned back to pick a donut.

We ate and talked almost like normal, if we'd ever had a normal moment. It was nice to feel like no one was watching for a while. I suggested we find a store around here, and buy her some girl's clothes. I didn't mention that I really, _really _liked the look of her in just my T-shirt. No need to embarrass myself.

"So, while we're on the subject of future plans… what exactly are we going to be doing? I mean, we can't just run away and keep running together," _but I want to. _

I didn't say that though. I merely answered her with the real plan. "No, I was thinking… we prove you're innocent. Find out who really did it," I explained.

"You mean so we could come back?" she asked. I nodded, waiting for some kind reaction.

"Where do we start?" she asked. She looked determined all of a sudden.

"I got the address of the main witness in your case, but I'm not sure if you really want to see him. The only other person to talk to is Jacob Black… I'm just not sure that's a good idea either," I answered.

"Who was the main witness?" she asked.

"Dr. Laurent Martin," I replied.

"Oh… that's right. He said that I was really violent and crazy… but why would he say that? Do you think he was lying? Why?" she wondered aloud.

"Of course he was lying! You're not crazy at all!" I answered.

"But why? What does he have to do with all this?" she asked, shaking her head.

"Maybe he was bribed. Maybe he was being blackmailed. Maybe… he did it," I offered.

"You mean he framed me?" she asked. She looked upset by this.

"Let's not jump to conclusions. If you don't want to see Dr. Martin or Jacob yet then we'll visit some other people on the witness list," I said, trying to comfort her.

"Okay, who first?" she sighed and asked.

"A Ms. Jessica Stanley," I said, checking the list.

"Our neighbor? The one who found us?" she asked, surprised. I nodded and we drove off in the direction of the small town outside of Seattle, where Bella used to live, called Forks. Jessica still lived in the same house across from Bella's old house. I caught her staring as we pulled up.

"Bella, lie down in the back and let me handle this. I think she'd recognize you, and we need to keep a low profile," I said. She clambered over the seats and moved to the back. I shut the door and made my way to the door. I knocked. I'd never felt so nervous in my life. Bella's whole life was hanging in the balance. I'd either save her life now or ruin it forever. I knocked.

The door opened a young, brown-haired girl stood before me. "Hello?" she said.

"Hi…" I said realizing all I had was a folder and a million questions, not one answer to the endless questions I could see on her face. "Are you Ms. Jessica Stanley?" I asked.

"Yes, and you are?" she asked.

"I'm an investigator, Dylan Adams. I'm looking into a case that you testified in, the case of Ms. Isabella Swan," I answered. I had been thinking about reasons to ask these questions all night, but now I felt sure she would see right through it all.

"That case closed… a long time ago," she answered, still seeking some answers.

"Yes, we're actually looking to Judge Simmons. He was involved in some bribery and we have to look into all the past cases. You know, make sure the records weren't changed, see if there would be any reason to bribe the judge and all kinds of things. Would you allow me to ask you some questions?" I asked.

"Of course, come right in," she said stepping back to let me in. I walked past her observing the open atmosphere of the house. It was nice, but I imagined myself in something a little homier. A little cottage with only a couple bedrooms, living room, kitchen, bathrooms meant for me and Bella and a few kids…. Whoa. Too much… again.

"So, I'm going to ask mostly questions from the trial and just see that all your answers match, okay?" I asked. Jessica nodded. "You were the one who found Charlie and Renee Swan dead?" I asked.

"Yes, B-Isabella was in the room, too, knocked out cold," she answered.

"Where and at what time did you find them?" I asked.

"It was in their bedroom. I came over at around nine,"

"Why did you go over?"

"The police department was trying to get a hold of Charlie, but no one picked up the phone. The man on the phone asked me if I knew where they were or if I could go see if they were around, so I did."

"It's not in any of these reports. Why would the police ask you to do that? Why would they have your number?" I asked. She looked confused for a moment.

"I'm not sure. I guess I got so caught up that night that I never bothered to wonder why," she answered, sounding sincere. I believed her, but there was still so much that didn't add up in anyway.

"You said Isabella was knocked out? Do you know why?" I asked.

"I didn't at the time, but during the case an expert witness testified that after an out burst like that it wasn't uncommon for mentally ill people to collapse. Sometimes seeing with their own eyes what they'd done was too stressful for the mind," she replied.

"Which witness was that?" I asked as I looked over the list.

"Some doctor from Seattle… Dr. Gregory… Dr. Grant…?" she muttered testing the sound of each name. My head snapped up.

"Dr. Gray?" I suggested.

"Yes, yes, that's right. Dr. Gray," she nodded. She barely seemed to notice my strange behavior. I would be eternally grateful for whatever distracted her.

"And what do you know about Ms. Swan's illness?" I continued, trying to push back all the theories popping into my head. I needed all the facts first.

"Not much. I always thought she just had a social disorder, but her personal therapist Dr. Martin said she was really violent. She'd have tantrums and hit things and all that. This was the first time she'd severely hurt a person though," she explained. We already knew that was a lie, so no help there.

"And do you remember seeing anything strange on that night?" I asked.

"Well… there was a car outside their house for a while. I was leaving for work and there was a black car in the drive way, but it was gone well before nine that night," she offered. I wondered what color Dr. Martin's car was.

"And was there anything else strange that happened around that time?" I asked.

"Well, now that you mention it, Officer Lowery disappeared around then. He was the deputy when Charlie was chief. He went to visit his daughter a week before Charlie and Renee… passed away," she finished.

"Why didn't anyone look into that? It's a bit strange. Two officers gone in one week?" I pressed.

"Well, Officer Lowery was in Idaho when he disappeared. Besides I found Isabella in the room with her parents and there was the knife with her finger prints. It's a pretty open and shut case right? I mean the only thing better would be someone who saw her stab them," she said. She seemed offended, so I decided that it might be better if I made my escape now.

"Of course. I think that's all I need, thank you," I agreed easily and stood. She looked confused.  
>"You aren't going to ask about the trial? Or the judge?" Jessica demanded. She suddenly seemed very suspicious; maybe she had been the whole time.<p>

"Uh, well I just… you didn't see anything did you?" I asked.

"No, the only people who spoke to each other at the trial were those two doctors. No one else," she answered, but she was still watching me too closely.

"Alright, thank you so much," I said hurrying to the door.

"Wait a moment! What did you say your name was?" she asked.

"Dylan Adams," I answered, half way to the door.

"You're an investigator? Do you have a badge or something?" she demanded.

"Yeah… I uh… really need to go though… I have a… an appointment," I muttered, almost running out the door and back to the car. In a second I was flying down the rode.

"Hey!" Bella said popping up from the back seat. She started to climb over the seats to the front.

"Get up here, and put on a seat belt!" I ordered. She was scaring the crap out of me. I was driving around 70 miles an hour, and Bella was climbing around without a seat belt on. After all I'd done for her I did _not_ intend to lose her in a stupid car crash.

"Alright, alright, bossy, so I went over to my house, while you were with Jess," she told me.

"What?"


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

A/N Thank you to all the people who have review, or add my story to their Favorites or Alerts, or even just are reading this story! It's my first Fan Fiction and I am so grateful to all the support I've received! Hope you enjoy and I will continue to update at least every other day, if not more often! Love to all! Toute Seule

Chapter 9

Memories

Edward went into the house and I sat outside anxiously waiting. _Would Jess be able to tell he was lying? Were the police showing our pictures on the news? Would Jess have seen? What could she tell us about that night?_ My head was too full of questions. If I was being realistic I knew Jess couldn't answer all my questions. If she could have she would have testified that I was innocent. If she knew the truth I knew she would have helped me. We weren't always close, but Jess was a decent person who surely wouldn't have abandoned me like that.

I looked around at my old neighborhood. Even my old house still sat there unchanged. I remembered that it still belonged to me, as long as what was supposed to be my inheritance could support it, it was mine. I was grateful again that Jacob wouldn't be getting control of it any time soon. He would surely sell it for more money. I glanced around and saw no one. I ventured out of the car and over to my own home. The door was locked, but the key was still under the eve. I entered the house. It was colder inside, because for obvious reasons the heat wasn't on and hadn't been since I'd been convicted… or rather pronounced insane.

I walked through the rooms. Shockingly, my father's boots still sat at the door. His jacket was hung on the hooks above. The living room had the same rug and the couch hadn't deviated a centimeter from where it was when I had last been in this house. I continued my wanderings down memory lane when I reached the kitchen. There was a worn and now dusty white table cloth that had roses embroidered on the edges. It didn't match one other thing in the house, but my grandmother had made it herself. I could practically see my mother now. She would pull the cloth off the table in one sweeping brush around six. Then she'd pull whatever strange creation she'd thought up out of the oven and set it out. The folded up cloth would sit on the kitchen counter until every dish had been cleared and then as I was exiting the kitchen I'd always see my mother shake it out and through it in the air over the table. In my memory it ballooned up and billowed, hovering. It caught the air like a parachute and fell softly back to the table. It never fell straight and even now I could see my mother caringly brushing away the wrinkles and tugging at the edges until it sat perfectly on the table. I felt the tears well up, and I quickly walked away from that memory. They were dead. Gran, Mom, Dad, they were all gone, forever.

I stared out the window and was attacked by yet another memory. I could see just the top of his black hair as it passed the tall fence around my back yard. I was laying down in the grass, soaking up what little sun there was in this rainy little town. I loved the sun. I'd practically forgotten with how little time I was allotted at the Retreat. Then he jumped so his eyes were visible for just a second. A moment later he was flinging his whole huge body right over the fence that was almost taller than him.

_"Hey Bells," he greeted with that lazy grin. I liked it from the moment I saw it. I blushed. I couldn't talk. Not to strangers and certainly not to strange boys who hopped my fence and invaded my alone time with the sun. He wasn't discouraged or even surprised when my only answer was a blush. _

_ "That's alright, Bella. I'll do all the talking," he grinned devilishly "How's it going?" he asked the air in front of him. In a ridiculous high-pitched voice he replied "Oh, pretty good, Jake…" He added in the same pitch with a seductive look here in my direction "… now that you're." I blushed and bit my lip to hold in my laughter._

_ "Well, thanks Bells. I just came by to see if you were up for a ride in my new car. What do you say?" he asked, looking right at me. Then he whispered "I might need some direction as to what your character would say."_

_ I hesitated, but staring into those big brown eyes. They were the only eyes that had ever looked at me like that… like I was interesting. I nodded and he grinned again. _

I'd always thought no one would look at me like that again, and no one ever had. Edward didn't look at me like I was interesting; he looked at me like I was perfect. Jacob's brown eyes were pathetically empty, when compared to Edward's lively green eyes. That stupid grin was boring, when compared to Edward's crooked smile. I was in so deep. Jake would always be my first love, first husband... and my first betrayal, my first hate.

I blinked away the tears and decided to get to my real purpose. I headed up the familiar stairs. I walked down the hall way I'd known all my life, to the room I knew held what I needed. My parent's room was stiller than I'd ever seen it. My mother was always hustling and bustling around the house when she was alive. Though my father was a calmer person, he had a job that required some late night jumping up and rushing out.

It wasn't just too still, it was eerie, too. I felt like I'd walked unknowingly into the set of some half-remembered nightmare. Of course it was actually the setting of a completely forgotten tragedy. I sighed. The sheets had been stripped off the bed and the windows were all shut tight. Most of the room had clearly been gathered for evidence. I realized quickly that I wouldn't learn anything here, so I wandered into my room, simply out of curiosity. I found my room colder than the hall or my parent's room. It was the way I'd left it, neat and tidy with all mementos of my old life packed away.

I walked in as the curtains billowed with the movement of air. It confused me, because I was sure all the windows in all the other rooms had been locked up tight. I wander forward, curious and cautious. I pulled back the curtain to find the window smashed. The break made a violent, stretching spider web around a slightly dented middle, where a small hunk of the glass missing. At first I was angry. How could someone defile the house where two innocent people lived, and died? I suppose they had thrown the rock at the window of the murderer (to the best of their knowledge). Then I looked a little closer and saw the middle was dented out. Like something had hit it from the inside… and were those crusty brownish smears on the sharp edges of the broken glass dirt or… blood. I quickly moved away. Now when I was waiting and praying for a memory of some kind to come to me, there was nothing. I couldn't tell you why the window was that way or if it even mattered. I _felt_ it did though. I felt like I _should_ know where it came from.

Then I did have a memory… not the one I was looking for. I suddenly remembered that when they found me with my parents I was passed out. My hand rose on it's own to gently feel the ridge of a scar left. They said I had probably passed out from stress and hit my head as I fell. The only thing that perplexed them all was the fact that a piece of glass had been lodged in the cut. There was absolutely no broken glass in my parent's room, so it must have been here that I'd gotten hurt. _But if I passed out in here then how would I get into my parent's room? And if it had happened earlier, then I wouldn't have been knocked out when my parents died would I? That means the murdered absolutely meant to blame me for my parents murder. _I sighed and hurried away to the car. I'd wasted too much time here. Edward would be back any second. I barely looked to see if anyone was paying attention before I made a mad dash to the silver Volvo waiting. Edward returned momentarily and we were off. I confessed what I'd done.

"What?" he demanded outraged.

"Relax, no one saw. I assume you won't tell?" I asked playfully.

He sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. His frustration was obvious. "I'm trying to keep you safe, Bella. Please give me a fighting chance," he pleaded.

"What did Jess say?" I asked, ignoring the previous statement. I couldn't be safe, if I didn't take some risks and prove myself innocent.

He explained the whole conversation, but paused towards the end. "What is it?" I asked, concern leaking into my voice.

"I think she's going to call the police. I didn't exactly keep my cover," he said sheepishly. I smiled a little.

"Then get us the hell out of here, but if we do get caught by the police at least we have some reasons to reopen my case," I offered.

"I don't think what little odd bits we've found are going to be enough... Bella… do you remember when I said we should run away together? Bella… In think we might have to leave. I think we might have to go… for a long time. I don't want this, but I'm not sure we _can _prove your innocence," Edward explained. For one second I thought it would be beautiful to be hold up on some island far away with Edward.

"But Edward, if we don't clear our names, then we won't be able to prove that the Retreat is a mess. Alice is still there, and they probably already are using shock therapy on her again. And… and I'll never visit my parents again… I mean, their graves," I muttered the last part brokenly. I knew I shouldn't, but for three years I had been spending the anniversary of their deaths at their graves. I just didn't think I could bare to loose them and my last connection to them, especially now that the day wouldn't be riddled with guilt and self-hated.

"Your safety is my number one priority Bella. Everything else comes second," he answered sternly. I couldn't argue, because I suddenly saw a set of flashing lights.

"Edward," I said anxiously. He continued to drive almost normally. A second and a third set of lights appeared. "Edward!" I repeated


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

A/N Thank you for the reviews and for continuing to read this story! I really appreciate it! My goal for this whole story is to update at least one chapter every other day.

MUST READ INFO: 1st of all I will always say "MUST READ INFO" before information that is actually important so I ask you to please read it! 2nd there will be only one or two more chapters and an epilogue if you ask me to write one! Thanks so much! Tell me in the reviews how you feel about an epilogue please.

Chapter 10

Chase

I swallowed convulsively. Slowly my foot compressed the petal until it was against the floor. I barely let up to swing precariously around a sharp corner. Bella was clutching her seat with both hands. My blood was rushing in my ears, the tires squealed, the sirens blared. All the noise was giving me a head ache. I couldn't think properly. I wasn't my usual calm and collected self.

"Turn down there!" Bella ordered and I listened without a thought. Bella was from here. She had to know where she was going, right? "That way!" she commanded and I swerved to make the turn. The rear end of the Volvo swung out. Soon we were sharply turning around the road and onto a cliff-side road. It was terrifying to see the ocean pounding into the rocks far below. The edge of the road was a blur, with my speed, but that sight stood perfectly clear.

"Can't you go any faster?" she demanded. I sighed and pushed the petal that last inch. She kept looking over her shoulder trying to see how far behind the police cars were. They had fallen behind more than before from what I could tell, but it wasn't enough. We were still curving around the jagged cliff face. Suddenly Bella grabbed my suitcase, full of our information on her case, and she threw herself straight into my lap while I tried to drive. As if going over a hundred on a road where you could careen into the ocean after a hundred foot drop wasn't dangerous enough. She unlocked the door and clutched the handle. We came around the sharpest turn yet and for a moment the police wouldn't be able to see anything. We were just coming away from the cliff and back to a road surrounded by forest expect the ocean side was still bare and lead to a huge drop.

"We jump out on three. One… Two… Three!" she shouted throwing the door open. We tumbled to the road. I tried to keep Bella locked in the cage of my arms, but she bumped around and grunted anyway. I managed to see the Volvo fly straight off the road and down. Holy crap! My car! We scrambled into the surrounding forest. The Volvo had disappeared over the edge and none of the cop cars stopped for a moment as they rocketed down the road. My brilliant Bella had saved both our asses. I wanted to kiss her again, but I refrained. There was still too much to do. I couldn't afford to alienate her now. We were in this together, whether we liked it or not...

We waited until we were sure the police had moved on. Then we ventured tentatively to the side of the road. I peaked over the edge to see the damage to my car. It wasn't visible, but maybe that was for the better. I looked back at Bella. She smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry about your car, but I figure there were more important things at stake," she said and she blushed. Anyone else who had sent my car flying into the ocean wouldn't have gotten off so easy, but this was Bella. She blushed and I melted.

"It's okay, at least we're safe now," I hugged her and pulled her back to the woods. "We need to be more careful though," I added.

"Where do we go now?" she asked.

"I think we need to talk about that a bit," I answered. She looked wary. Bella stumbled her way up hill through the forest. I followed behind her, but it was like the blind leading the blind. Bella seemed to only barely know where we were and she was so clumsy we couldn't make quick progress anyway. It didn't bother me that much, but I was concerned about the amount of time it would take to get somewhere safe, especially now that we were carless.

Eventually we found ourselves in a meadow. It was very beautiful. Bella looked around in awe as she took in the bright multicolored flowers and the bright green grass.

"It's just like my garden… the garden at the Retreat," she murmured as she knelt down, surrounded by beautiful blossoms, not as beautiful as her though. I sat beside her.

"Bella… I think we need to go. I'm not sure we'll be able to find the evidence to prove you innocent. I think we should run, and at least let things cool down before we come back to look into things again. We can't do anything while we're being chased this way," I reasoned. Bella lifted her eyes. She looked bewildered. _Why _her eyes asked.

"We talked about this. I can't leave Alice. I can't leave my parents. I can't give up. This is the only home I've ever had. I can't leave it," she said.

"This isn't safe anymore, Bella," I argued.

"I can't go, Edward," she said with finality in her voice. She stood up.

"Well, I can't stay, Bella," I replied. I regretted the words as they left my mouth. But if it worked I certainly wouldn't retract them.

"Then leave! Just go! I don't need you! I don't need anything!" she shouted, defiantly.

"I'm trying to help you! Why are you being so damn difficult?" I demanded.

"Difficult? You think I'm difficult? Well, the only thing I can say is I have every damn right to be difficult. Compared to my situation, compared to what you're asking of me, compared to my life, I'm the easiest damn thing in the world!" she ranted.

"Bella, calm down!" I ordered. She started to walk away.

"I don't need you! I don't need anything or anyone! Just leave… like everyone else," she muttered the last part. I knew it wasn't meant for my ears, but I had heard it. I couldn't pretend I hadn't. She was already trudging down the hill again. I stood there alone for a moment. I just stared at the bright colors that were so inappropriate for how I felt. They didn't fit with what had happened just now. I had never felt do low in my life. I ran off after her.

"Bella! Bella! Wait, Bella!" I begged. I kept moving though I knew I had wasted too much time. She was already gone. In one last feeble attempt I yelled as loud as I could. I called out the one thing I knew could have only two reactions, leave me for ever or come running back. I hoped fiercely for the second. "ISABELLA MARIE SWAN! I LOVE YOU!" Nothing. I sat there until the sun fell over the horizon. How was it, in a place with no bars or alarms or even windows, where the sky extended boundlessly on, I felt more trapped than I ever had in my life?


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

A/N Thank you again to all my readers! I appreciate each and every one of you! I have three questions for you all, first how can I change the name of a chapter? Seems simple, but I don't know how. Second, I will be starting a new story shortly, so I have a few ideas. Both of these stories I will write at some point, but I want to ask which I should write first.

Muse – Bella, a brand new dance student at Julliard, receive an assignment to choreograph and perform an original dance that clearly shows an emotion. Edward, an aspiring photographer, receives an assignment, too. He must find some subject to use in many ways for different effects. While searching for inspiration, will they find something more?

The Eye of the Beholder - Bella is a teenage model in NY, but it's not all it's cracked up to be. She never feels thin enough. She never feels pretty enough. She never makes enough money to satisfy Renee. But after an incident, which leads her back to Forks, and her dad. But can this small town and her big crush there, save her from herself?

My last question I also asked last chapter. Do you want an Epilogue? Feel free to respond in a review for this chapter or the next.

Sorry for the long note.

Chapter 11

Eyes

I continued through the woods though it felt like it would kill me to do it. Every step I took away from Edward was a step I regretted. But what could I do? Leave with him? Abandon everything I knew and loved? Well, everything I knew and loved with one exception. The one exception that I would be going with. The one exception that I cared for the most. I felt worse and worse, because he didn't even seem to mind me leaving. It probably made his life easier. It was me they were really after. They wanted to protect Edward from me. They wanted to use him to get me. They only wanted to hurt _me._ Of course, I knew Edward, just and chivalrous as he was, would never willingly turn me in. It wasn't, because he cared about me. It was, because he believed me. It was, because he was a good person.

That ached even more. I fought myself all the way through the woods, but I knew, I knew the whole time that I was going to run away and hide. I was going to be a child, playing hide and seek. Edward was going to hide with me, to show me where to run. The police weren't going to count to ten. I was wasting time. I couldn't even be sure I'd be able to find Edward again. He had probably left. That didn't stop me from walking on though. I made my way back to the outskirts of Forks, where I knew the cemetery was. I needed permission. I needed someone to tell me it was okay to be childish. I went to my parents.

I knelt between the graves. I fought back tears. I felt so much lighter than I ever had here. I felt no guilt on my shoulders, pushing down, trying to push me into a grave, into hell. I didn't hate myself for the things I'd done, because I hadn't done anything wrong at all. I'd been a good girl most of my life with my parents, and I'd spent every moment at the Retreat trying futilely to prove to myself that I deserved to live. I finally felt like I'd proved I did deserve to live. I suddenly felt wronged, as if someone had stolen from me, and I had never noticed what they had taken. Now I wanted it. Now I needed it. It would kill me not to have it. But it was gone. I felt hollow, too. Maybe that's what the thief had taken. My heart and soul, and now I wanted to love and be loved, but I couldn't do either. I couldn't do anything.

I looked at the marble head stones. "I miss you," I said. "I miss you everyday," I said. That was how I greeted them every year, on the anniversary of their death I would be taken, handcuffed and guarded out to the cemetery. I would kneel in between their headstones and I would say that. Then I would cry. I would say I'm sorry and I would beg forgiveness in front of every one who came. Dr. Gray and Felix and Nurse Greco would stand over me and say nothing. They looked down on me, not with sympathy, but with apathy. No one cared about a murders pain. The headstones would not move or change in anyway. They always stared back. Today I said something else. "I have to leave you. I have to because it will save my life. I have to, because I deserve that life. But I'll always come back. I will look after you, and I will remember you. I loved you," I murmured. I stood up and turned my head towards a shuffling. _The police? _I panicked.

Instead a tall dark skinned man with black hair stepped forth. He flashed those shiny white teeth and I was shocked.

"I knew I'd find you here, Bella," Jacob grinned.  
>"Jacob," I said, shocked. Before I could decide if this was better or worse, there was a flash of silver at his throat and red poured over his russet skin down to stain his white T-shirt. His eyes widened and he lifted his hand to his throat. He looked like a child despite his size. His eyes were so bewildered and helpless. He crumpled to the grass, one hand still at his throat. He managed to lay himself face up, before he stopped moving all together. I swallowed convulsively. I couldn't look away from his frozen form lying beside the graves of my parents. When I tore my eyes from him, I gasped. It was worse than the police. So much worse.<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

**THIS IS A SUPER IMPORTANT AUTHOR NOTE! PLEASE READ! **

A/N Okay guys! This is the last official chapter! I have a serious concern though! I have gotten no reviews on the last two chapters! I'm not obsessive over the number of reviews. I won't hold any chapters hostage based on that number, but if there is a problem I want to know! Are you unhappy with where I've taken this story? Do you really not care for the new story options I've given you? If there isn't any interest in the ideas for stories I offered or an epilogue then neither of those stories nor the epilogue will be publish! This is not a threat, it's a question. What do my lovely readers want?

I came up with a third story idea if this appeals more to you!

Traitor – Bella is the lowest part of society and Edward is the highest in the post-revolution 2222 world. When Bella finds herself basically a slave to him what will happen between them? Can they possibly fix this dysfunctional world?

The other two were…

Muse – Bella, a brand new dance student at Julliard, receive an assignment to choreograph and perform an original dance that clearly shows an emotion. Edward, an aspiring photographer, receives an assignment, too. He must find some subject to use in many ways for different effects. While searching for inspiration, will they find something more?

The Eye of the Beholder - Bella is a teenage model in NY, but it's not all it's cracked up to be. She never feels thin enough. She never feels pretty enough. She never makes enough money to satisfy Renee. But after an incident, which leads her back to Forks, and her dad. But can this small town and her big crush there, save her from herself?

You can PM me or just review, but please say something! I will keep writing no matter what, but I want to write better stories so I need to know what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong! Thank you! Sorry it was so long

Chapter 12

I hadn't seen him in more than 3 years, but I knew exactly who he was. He was Dr. Laurent Martin. I finally pulled my eyes from his grinning face to look once more at my husband gasping and choking for breath on the grass. I walked slowly towards him, my eyes, for safety reasons, locked on those of Laurent. He wasn't a doctor to me anymore. He didn't save lives. He ended them. I knelt down in the grass beside Jacob, as far from Laurent as I could be while next to Jake. I looked at his face and felt tears in my eyes as I saw him struggle for breath. He kept looking at me in this desperate and despairing way. I could only whisper "I'm sorry." The light went out of his eyes and though they stayed open and stared at me, they couldn't see me. I almost cried then and there. Instead I gently closed his eyes. I couldn't help him now. I suddenly and violently wished I had asked him why he married me in the first place. Now, I'd never know.

_I was sitting on the armrest of the couch and Jake sat on the end of the couch perpendicular to me. My legs stretched over his lap. His arms were resting on the back of the couch. A half eaten cake was on the coffee table and a "Happy Birthday" sign hung over the door way to the kitchen. _

_ Renee smiled as she walked up the stairs and Charlie threw a glare at the back of Jake's head. They both disappeared upstairs. _

_ Jake grabbed me by my waist and pressed his lips to mine. I grinned when we broke away. _

_ "Why can't this last forever? Why did you have to get older?" he wondered aloud. _

_ "I don't know," I sighed. _

_ "What will we do, Bella? When you go to college, what will we do?" he asked. _

_ "I don't know."_

_ He kissed me again and this time it was more desperate. We both were gasping by the end. _

_ "Marry me," he whispered in my ear. _

"I never thought I'd be so lucky as to blame three murders on you, Bella! But you made it so easy!" Laurent laughed, gesturing with the knife that was still in his hands. His voice pulled me back to reality. I watched it move.

"Why?" I demanded.

"Well, James told me Jacob here knew a bit too much, so he had to go," he explained simply.

"Why my parents? What did they ever do to you?" I asked.

"Charlie did a little research on me… I lost my medical license, and he was going to expose me. He confided in the deputy and your mother. I had to save my job," he answered as if it was the most natural thing in the world. I felt sick.

"It doesn't matter. You can't pin this on me. There's someone who knows I'm innocent, someone who suspects you," I snapped. His smile fell and his eye twitched.

"Your Dr. Cullen?" he sneered. I didn't reply. "Like anyone's going to believe the doctor who broke a dangerous patient out of the hospital on a hunch," he argued. I felt like he was trying to convince himself more than me. I had confidence in Edward. "I suppose they'll believe him the same way they believed you?" he laughed. He walked around me, stopping behind me. I didn't turn. I couldn't look at him anyway.

"It's not the same. Edward is a well respected doctor as is his father, who will certainly help his son. I was a girl with a reputation of insanity and no support and lots of evidence against me," I answered. He hesitated again.

"Fine then… you'll both have to be taken care of," he said sharply. My bones chilled and I froze my face still turned to the forest and not Laurent. I suddenly felt coldness against my neck, then heat. Then there was a groan and shuffling. I looked and saw Edward on the ground hitting Laurent. I touched my throat and felt a burning cut with a little blood trickling over my fingers.

I felt slightly sick, but I swallowed it and tried to help Edward. He was trying to restrain the hand holding the knife as Laurent jerked it toward him. I shuffled closer, trying to find someway to grab the knife. I thought I was far enough away and that with Edward holding his wrist he wouldn't be able to do much. Laurent surprised Edward though by pulling his wrist away from Edward suddenly. He stabbed at me and landed one his to my side before Edward could pull him back. I screamed, and fell back. I grabbed my side, gasping in pain. I saw him getting closer to cutting Edward and knew I had to act.

I kicked his hand and managed to knock it to the ground. Immediately Edward grabbed for it, but so did Laurent. They were punching and rolling on the grass as each tried to knock the knife out of the others grasp. I was still clutching my side. The pain was burning and scorching. I could feel the blood, sticky between my fingers.

I turned my head in time to see Laurent land a harsh blow with his foot straight to Edward's nose. There was a crunch and I knew it was broken. Blood poured over his mouth as he struggled to right himself. It was too late though. Laurent had the knife and was walking toward me. Edward's legs shot out in front of Laurent, and he fell to the ground. I began to crawl away, but Laurent's hand was gripping my ankle. He reached as high as he could, which was about to my mid thigh. He drove the knife in again. I screamed, and jerked away from him. The knife was still stuck in my leg. I pulled it out. Tears were streaming over my face as I shouted in agony. Laurent had kicked Edward back again. He threw his body over me and tried to grab the knife back. I shoved into his chest without a thought. I felt so light-headed, and I could barely see past the tears, but I saw his eyes. He looked every bit as surprised as Jake had. There was a rush of shock running through me, too. _Had I really killed him?_

As if to answer, he collapsed down on me, crushing me. I couldn't breathe from the weight and I felt the handle of the knife poking my ribs. Suddenly his weight was gone. Edward's face appeared. Everything was starting to fade at the edges. I blinked, but couldn't seem to correct my vision.

"Bella? Please stay with me. Help is on the way, I promise. Please stay with me, Bella. I'm never going to let you get hurt again, I promise. I love you, Bella. Please don't leave me. I love you…" he kept talking to me, but I couldn't hear over the rushing in my ears. I closed my eyes as the blackness spread from the edges all over everything. I wanted to stay, but I was just so tired. So I drifted off.


	13. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

A/N - This is actually it! I just wanted to say I changed the rating to be safe. This isn't anything bad, just slightly more than the rest of the story. Thank you for reading. I will publish another story soon! Please check it out! I'm still taking suggestions on which story to publish! Check the last chapter for the summaries!

Epilogue

Four Years Later

Bella woke up two weeks later in the hospital. I was asleep in the chair beside her bed when I felt a nudge. Bella was panicky and convinced that the "incident" as we now referred to it, had happened only yesterday. I calmly explained everything that had happened over the two weeks. I called 911 myself and I was arrested, but it was well worth it. I explained my story to the police, and it matched the evidence, so they agreed to allow bail and from then everyone had been waiting for Bella to wake up. Things eventually worked themselves out from there. Including our "peculiar friendship."

Now, I was sitting in my own living room with a book. Bella pulled it from my grasp and set it aside. I couldn't really read it while she was walking around in just my T-shirt anyway. She straddled my lap. I wrapped my arms around her waist. She sighed.

"I never see you anymore," she murmured.

"Have you gone blind, love? I'm right here," I joked. She raised an eyebrow, not amused.

"That isn't what I meant, and you know it. I miss you. Pullman is too far away," she grumbled. I grinned. Bella was now attending Washington State University. Her plan before the whole mess had always been to go to Arizona for college, but she didn't want to go that far. She told me it wasn't because of me, but I have my suspicions. Those suspicions are based, of course on the fact that she's a terrible liar. She's still 5 hours away, but most of the time she really likes school. "I miss Alice, too," she sighed.

"Only a few months left," I promised, kissing her neck. I thought about Alice, too. Well, she was still in the hospital, but she had more company than ever. Recently a Rosalie Hale had been admitted for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, and she just so happened to become a certain little pixie's roommate. She'd been raped by her fiancé, Royce King. Rosalie was out in a matter of weeks. She was tough and had a lot of support from her brother Jasper. But when Rosalie got out neither she nor Jasper were ready to leave Alice. Jasper was there almost everyday and Rosalie almost as often.

Jasper being so interested in Alice made Bella interested in Jasper (Only for the sake of her friend of course, if it had been something else I might have killed him myself… I guess I am the jealous type after all). Then Bella, Rosalie and Jasper all had to be friends.

Bella eventually met my family, Esme, who just adored her, Carlisle, who she already knew and eventually (though I put it off as best I could) my reckless and _too_ forward brother, Emmett. For whatever reason Bella ended up really liking Emmett, so Emmett occasionally was invited to our group events. This all lead to Rosalie and Emmett going out, too.

"I guess," she agreed reluctantly. I smiled against her skin, kissing her was the best way to get her to give up. Sometimes, she's too stubborn for her own good.

"You should stay an extra day if you miss me so much," I offered.

"I can't. You know, I have an essay due," she whined.

"You work too hard," I complained. I gave her a kiss on the lips.

"You're one to talk. You're so busy with your new job, if I stayed tomorrow I wouldn't see you at all anyway," she argued. I laughed. She was right. I was constantly dashing into the office at all hours of the night. With Bella cleared and many other testimonies of doctors there, such as Dr. Carmen Henderson and Nurse Angela, we proved that the Grecos and the Grays were abusing their patients. They were fired of course, but they cut a deal for a shorter sentence by squealing on their superiors. That meant Aro, Caius and Marcus were out. Carlisle still had a lot of traveling to do, so he gave me a promotion.

"We'll just have to make good use of the time we have," I said kissing her again. She laughed against my lips as I picked her up and brought her to the bedroom.

"You are trouble, Dr. Cullen," she accused, fighting a smile.

"I used to be well behaved. I used to be sensible. You have driven absolutely insane. You made me this way, soon-to-be-Mrs. Cullen," I answered. I dropped her on the bed and climbed on top. I kissed her diamond ring.

"Would you like me to drive you insane again?" she asked, grinning. She kissed me. She kissed me passionately and sucked on my lower lip. I groaned. We broke apart.

"Every single day of my life, if you don't mind," I said, grinning, too.

"I don't mind at all," she grinned, kissing me again. I kissed the scar on the inside of her thigh. Then I pulled the shirt up enough to reveal the second scar on her side and kissed it, too. Then I pressed my lips to each cheek. Finally she pulled my mouth to hers. It was just like on the window ledge and in the hospital and when we said goodbye when she left for college and when she said 'yes' after I stuttered out the biggest question of my life and the time after that and the time after that. Every time I kissed her I felt like I had never loved her so much, and ever time I knew it was impossible to love her anymore, then I'd kiss her again and I was proven wrong. Every time.


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